Expectations – Reality = Disappointment

I spent the first year or two of my marriage dealing with disappointment. I had expectations of what our life would be like after the wedding. When Karl did not live up to expectation, then I was disappointed and, sometimes, downright angry. Doesn’t he know I want him to. . . ? Why doesn’t he. . . ?

Then, one day, I’m not sure when, I heard a wise woman say that I must accept him and love him as he is. “Treat him like he is already the man you want him to be.” Karl was the man I wanted, I just didn’t always treat him like “the man.”

Many girls my age were raised to act like men. I am the daughter of a feminist. After the wedding, I did not know how to act. I wanted to be in charge and have a Christian home at the same time. The problem is that Christian homes are not run by women. Husbands are not supposed to submit to wives. The Proverbs 31 lady ran her household well, but she did not run over her husband.

An amazing thing happened when I began to really try to biblically submit to my husband. He started acting more like I needed him to. When I stopped taking charge in some things that he needed to be doing, he started to do them. He is much less passive than he used to be.

One more thing, I dropped my expectations and lifted him up in prayer. God works faster in my husband than any amount of time I spend talking or nagging. And, somehow, in praying for God to change my husband, God changed me.

Prayer + Grace = Joy