After reading Hughes’ chapter on contentment, and seeing the next chapter is about propriety, I am tempted to stop this series altogether. I literally had to remind myself why I set off to be serious about cultivating the disciplines of a gospel woman. It is not easy, nor is it fun to look at oneself honestly in the light of the God’s truth day after day. It is painful and sickening to realize that I am not doing as well as I think I am. God is always faithful to remind me that there are still areas (many that I may not have ever thought of) in which I must submit to His will. Were it not for the hope I have in God’s gospel of grace I would despair of ever living that diamond-shaped life I so romantically made up.
This brings me to a question: does the fact that my sin revealed makes me sick to my stomach mean that I still harbor too much pride? If I really gloried in the grace of God, wouldn’t it bring joy to me to ask forgiveness and marvel at his grace on me? If I really believe it is wonderful to depend on God and not myself, then my sin and weakness only provides more opportunity for me to do that. Instead, I am sometimes sick that I have to ask again and again, especially for something that wouldn’t seem like a big deal to most people.
Here’s how this relates to propriety…Sunday night I went to worship with flip-flops on. I know….no big deal, right? Except, I told my daughter she couldn’t go to worship with flip-flops on. But as I was getting dressed, running short on time and I couldn’t find my shoes, I slipped on my blue flip-flops that oh-so-cutely matched my blue shirt. I immediately felt the conviction, but I ran out the door anyway, justifying myself all the way.
When we arrived, I walked in ahead of two ladies still wearing their dresses from church that morning, and I felt so stupid for wearing jeans and flip-flops. I realized that one could count on one finger the number of women in pants of any kind–ME! And blue jeans have to be the lowest of the low when it comes to pants.
Guess the scripture for the sermon? 1 Timothy 2:8-10. Modesty and propriety in the church. Now, I always leave the house well-covered, so I have never thought I had a problem with modesty. However, I learned Sunday night that modesty means so much more than covering oneself well. It has to do with what is appropriate. Here’s a quote from Barbara Hughes:
The discipline of propriety is simply behaving in ways appropriate for Christians–actions that don’t bring shame to the Gospel and to Christ. Propriety elevates our words, our appearance, and our attitudes. But propriety doesn’t begin with these outwardly measurable signs. Propriety is a matter of the heart. (Disciplines of a Godly Woman, p. 89-90)
My heart proved to me Sunday night that it is deceitful above all things, and I can’t cure it! (Jeremiah 17:9). This week’s posts are going to be all about propriety as it relates to my dress, my words, and my attitude…and anything else God brings to mind.
The girls at girltalk had a series of modesty posts this past spring. They are in my spotlight today. I should have paid more attention then.
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Leslie Wiggins 
12 responses to “The Discipline of Propriety”
This book you’ve been reading sounds very challenging, to say the least. I had a quick peak at the girltalk link and hope to read more when I have more time. Just popping in to have a peak at your blog for now.Modest dress is something I’ve been thinking and reading about for several years. I had always considered myself a modest person, but as I started thinking more about this issue I began to better understand the attitude of my heart.I must admit that I realised my heart was *not* in the right place at times when trying on clothing and that was a bit of a shock for me.At the same time, I have had relationships with more legalistic ladies (legalist in the true sense of the word, I don’t throw that one about lightly) and I don’t want to go there either. Perhaps it’s a difficult balance?Anyway, looking forward to reading more of the girltalk series…
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Hi Leslie, I just ordered the Barbara Hughes book tonight. I am looking forward to diving into it. I can relate so much on your thoughts of wanting to be a Godly woman and why. I am looking forward to be challenged and encouraged by the book as I have been by things you have brought up in your blog regarding the book. Thanks!
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Well, one thing Leslie and I have both observed about this church is that there are no women or young ladies that are dressed provocatively, unlike just about every other place we visited. Beyond just the attitude that each woman has about herself and her clothing, it can be difficult for men to focus on God when women dress to attract attention. I’m not sure if that always happens on purpose (I’m sure in some cases it does), but we were both pleased to see that the ladies of this church take propriety seriously. Certainly legalism in dress can be taken to extremes, but in our experience, modesty isn’t taken seriously enough.
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I bumped into your blog through the link in the Christian Carnival, and popped in because of the subject of Propriety. I wrote a blog entry about the subject last December about how I personally decide when something is appropriate. It all comes down to the reason we do things.Are we trying to make things better, or are we trying to take a shortcut? Are we trying to do something noble, or are we out to influence someone in a negative way? The thought and intent behind the action tells all.
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It was interesting that when I was doing research for a post a while back that I found that there were many more ladies that I realized that had convictions about wearing skirts outside the house.I grew up with and have been around ladies all my life that wore pants and dresses just to church. At college, women had to wear dresses/skirts all the time, and I felt that appropriate.My post came down to saying that the Bible is clear that men are to look like men and women like women, and yet there is something feminine and empowering to a woman (from a man’s perspective) about a skirt/dress.
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Hi Leslie,Thanks for visiting our blog. To answer your question, we are planning to continue blogging once we go to Africa. I guess we’ll have to change the name since we’ll no longer be on the road. 🙂 We haven’t been blogging very long, but we think it’s a great way to stay in contact with people.I don’t have much time today, but I definitely want to read more from your blog at a later time. The posts were a convicting encouragement to me as a Christian lady and mom.Karis
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Wow. When I read this, I think more than anything else I’d want you to sit down, get a back rub, take a hot shower, drink some hot chocolate, and thank God that he is gracious. Then read Psalm 51 and draw arrows on which way the action goes. From us to God, or from God to us? I would have a nervous breakdown in about 5 minutes if I tried to hold myself to the standards to which you hold yourself. I’ve got nothing against propriety. But remember the gift of the Sabbath: it starts with knowing that all our everyday busy-ness doesn’t really accomplish much that can’t wait, realizing that the world doesn’t actually fall apart if we enjoy its goodness for a day, and absorbing the fact that God has got everything covered. Forgive me if this is offense, but I worry about a post like that. Take care & God bless
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Thanks for your post, great book. Girltalk is one of the few blogs I read every day, it’s great.
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hi, i deleted the previous comment because I wanted to add something, I guess i should have just added another comment!!! Sorry about that! 🙂
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I ditto Amy’s comment. To a certain extent we have to come to a compromise (although ultimately it’s about choice isn’t it?). I’ve come to the point where I want to look good but not sexy, groomed but not like I’ve been in front of the mirror for hours.Also, have you ever seen a man wear women’s jeans? He’d look like a girl! Women’s jeans are cut for women and if you wear them with a nice top you’ll look like a woman! I don’t think you *have* to wear a skirt to look feminine. I’m a skirt wearer (just because I prefer them) but the other day my A line skirt blew right up when I bent down to see to my daughter, everyone saw my knickers and THAT wouldn’t have happened if I’d been wearing jeans! I suppose I just think we should always do our best on these issues and everyone’s best is different…and I’m still figuring out what my best is!lol!plain and simple
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Weekend Fisher–offense taken, apology accepted.
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plainandsimple–“I suppose I just think we should always do our best on these issues and everyone’s best is different.”You’re right.I don’t have anything against jeans. I prefer a good pair of jeans myself. I just mentioned it in this post because, in this particular church we are attending, jeans are not considered appropriate for women to wear. So, it is very possible I upset some ladies with what I was wearing.
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