PSA: God is serious about rooting out sin and pride in the lives of His children.
I never considered gossip to be one of my besetting sins until a few years ago. 2003, was a banner year! I want to spare you all the details because I’m afraid that sharing the specifics may only serve to glorify the sin. I think God will get more glory for Himself if I tell how He dealt with me throughout the whole ordeal and the healing afterwards. Suffice it to say that I participated in gossip. (Not just in 2003, but that is the year God began His work of sifting it out of me).
When God began to make me aware that this sin was a major problem for me I asked myself several questions. First of all, I had to ask myself why I enjoy gossip. I still am tempted terribly when anyone is talking about someone else. I want to join in. I like knowing about everybody else and what is going on. Now, if I had a genuine concern, there wouldn’t be anything wrong with it. If I had it in my mind to serve or help, then it might be different. However, I am not that sweet. Here are some things I have learned about myself: I am rotten to the core, I am manipulative, I am selfish, I am proud. Furthermore, I do not have to know juicy, intimate details in order to serve or help or encourage another person in his/her plight. I enjoy the details of another’s trouble because knowing someone else is not happy, not doing well financially, making poor decisions, etc. make me feel better about myself. One could argue that this is a psychological handicap, that I’m a product of my childhood environment, blah blah blah. Or that because I have been so foolish in my own life, I feel better knowing other people make dumb decisions, too. The Bible tells us otherwise. I enjoy these kinds of discussion because I am a sinner with a wicked heart.
A second question I wanted to answer was, what does the Bible say about this? Well, I knew it was wrong, but I did not know exactly what God had to say about it. As I began to research, I was shocked by what He had to say, particularly what He said about me. Surely, my behavior was not THAT bad!
I pulled out my concordance and dictionary, pen and paper, and Bible. First I looked up a definition of gossip. And I found another word: slander. Slander? Am I a slanderer? (I know. Let’s say it together: denial). Then, I used an exhaustive concordance to look up every single reference for gossip and every single reference for slander. I spent a couple of days looking them all up and then writing out each verse. (I did this because, as I began, God brought to my mind that the King of Israel had to write down the entire law so that he would know it and would not turn from the LORD. I figured it would do me good as well). I spent some time thinking about how each one applied to me. I put a star next to the ones that brought a particular sting to me and wrote those on fresh paper. I searched my old journals to find my notes from those days and here they are (in NIV because I used my NIV in 2003):
Proverbs 11:13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. (God showing me I am perverse).
Proverbs 18:8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels, they go down to a man’s inmost parts. (God showing me that my words will stay with those who heard them, and that the words I heard will stay with me).
Proverbs 20:19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks to much. (God showing me that I have betrayed others, that I am one who should be avoided, and instruction to avoid those who talk too much).
Proverbs 26:20 Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. (God showing me that I had been fuel to a fire, a quarrel. Also teaching me one way to put out a fire or quarrel).
Proverbs 10:18 He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. (God showing me my lying lips and calling me a fool).
2 Corinthians 12:20 For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. (God showing me my jealousy as a factor in gossiping and slander. I also realized that I did not want Him to find me in that way.)
Leviticus 19:16 Do not go about spreading slander among your people. (your church, your family, your friends)
Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice (God showing me that I had not gotten rid of the things of my flesh).
1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himselfa brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolator or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. (God showing me that, if church discipline was practiced as it should be, other believers should not even eat with me).
1 Corinthians 6: 9-10 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral…nor slanderers…will inherit the kingdom of God. (God showing me that if I did not fight this sin, then I will not be in Heaven).
2 Timothy 3:1-5 There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be…slanderers…lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God–having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. (God showing me that my godliness was not real. That seeking to please myself and other men showed I did not love Him).
Titus 2:3 Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. (God showing me that I was a bad example, not teaching what is good).
These are the verses God used to diagnose and help open my eyes to my sin. I did not realize how serious He is about gossip and slander until I dug through His word to find out. Like I said, I did not think I was “that bad.” I certainly didn’t consider my salvation to be at stake if I failed to fight this sin. (Duh!)
I had a big mess to clean up. I had to confess and repent before God. However, this sin was not private. It was quite public, therefore, there was confession and repentance that had to happen publicly. My next mission was to find verses to help me do battle. Part 2 tomorrow.
O LORD, who shall sojourn in your tent?
Who shall dwell on your holy hill?
He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart;
who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor,
nor takes up a reproach against his friend.
Psalm 15:1-3
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Leslie Wiggins 
5 responses to “The Diagnosis”
I’ve often struggled with where the “line” is. What is gossip and what is just an innocent discussion. For me I’ve learned to distinguish where the line is by examining my own motives. Am I making myself feel better by putting someone else down? Am I enjoying the fact that they’re being made to look bad?As you know, Hubby and I went through some pretty rough times at a church we attended a few years ago. While he was leading the church for a while in the absence of a pastor we got to experience first hand the amount of harmful gossip that goes on in a congregation. Even just last year someone finally told us about a rumour circulating that they had believed, that had then changed the way they related to us. There wasn’t even a hint of truth in that rumour!Anyway, that experience really taught me to watch what I say about other people. I guess that being on the receiving end sort of helped beat it out of me. I’m not perfect in this area, that’s for sure! But, though it was a painful experience God really used it for good in my life. I can see from your story that God used the painful situation you went through for good as well.I’m looking forward to Part 2. Thanks for being so honest and transparent in your posts Leslie.
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I think a lot of women can relate to this brave post. We can have (literally) wicked tongues. I am often judgemental (and prideful – they go hand in hand I think)but who am *I* to judge??? I also think Amy is right about examining your motives. We have to ask ourselves is our *concern* just a veiled prurient interest in someone elses life?
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Great entry Leslie, I have been challenged recently too about gossip and a critical tongue. Isn’t it great though the way the bible is constantly challenging us in every area of our lives. Also I love your conclusion as to why you gossip – it is so true for all of us, too many times people use a myriad of “excuses” for sin and don’t recognize it for what it is – SIN, pure and simple. Thanks.
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w, thanks for that honesty, and those verses. MrsMegLogan
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Wow– way to show the right way to handle sin– by going to the Word and seeing what God says. That’s exactly what Paul meant by renewing our minds and putting off sin and putting on righteousness.It’s amazing that we as Christians today put more emphasis in what we think are the big sins, where I think that we would be surprised to find that God has a different set.Thanks for this, and I look forward to seeing how you did battle.
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