Pride is the attitude of the ungodly. Humility is the hallmark of godliness. (Barbara Hughes, Disciplines of a Godly Woman, pg. 99)
There was a time in my life that I thought my children were holding me back from real ministry. It seemed that just when I was beginning something new at church or getting a little more involved, I would find out another baby was on the way. I was always a hardworking SAHM, but my mind tended to be elsewhere–planning a program, studying for a class I had to teach, coordinating something over the phone, rehearsing for a choir presentation. I did not consider serving in obscurity at home a good use of my talents and gifts. Many others agreed. Our church didn’t exactly encourage mothers to just be great mothers. For example, it didn’t work for me to stay late after prayer meetings on Wednesday for choir practice. I needed to get the kids home and in bed. When I told our choir director that I wouldn’t be able to be a part of the choir for this season of my life, he actually told me that if I didn’t use my voice in the choir, then God might take away my ability to sing.
We are preached to that we need to be at home for our kids, and at the same time we are encouraged to find a ministry, get involved, take on responsibility for the church. I have found that it is too difficult to do both really well. When I tried to be the perfect SAHM and the perfect church member, my kids always got the short end of the stick. Just as women who work outside the home find it incredibly difficult to give 100% to their employers and 100% to their families, I found it difficult to give my all to my family and my all to the various church ministries in which I was involved.
My attitude toward working hard at home has had to change. My gifts and talents are not wasted and God has not taken any of them away. I have learned that using my gifts to serve my family counts just as much as when I used them in the church. Perhaps God gets more glory from me now than he did when I was singing with a microphone, or teaching in front of a group of teenagers or other women. Most of the time, the compliments were directed to me personally, not to God. It was very hard for me to discern if I was serving for God’s glory or for my own. The audience when I sing consists of four little kids who rarely clap when I’m finished. My class consists of the same four kids who think they already know everything.
I know my service is to Him for He is the only one who sees. Blessed anonymity.
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Leslie Wiggins 
9 responses to “Attitude”
Good words. Many churches today are like that and it is sad. I found myself in that same position in our previous church.
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Great post Leslie, I am approaching a season of change in this respect too and praying that God will help me with my priorities. Your kids are blessed to have a mum like you! The difficult choices are often the most rewarding.Also, I am totally with you on the Nicolas Sparks thing, the book was fine but I am not exactly rushing out to buy the sequel, however the memoir with his brother appeals to me too!
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A book club would be great. It sounds like a few of us are reading it since you’ve started posting about it. It is nice to be encouraged and challenged!
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Jane–I know you can’t wait to go to China for your little one! The Sparks memoir has lots of pictures and they spend a lot of time discussing the deaths of their parents and their sister. I had no idea he has been through so much pain in his life. I don’t luuuuv his books, but I have a lot of respect for him after the memoir. Jenn–I haven’t a clue about doing book clubs via the internet. Perhaps we could schedule each chapter and then post about it on a certain day of the week and link to each other so we could read each person’s thoughts about the chapter. How far along are you in the Hughes book? Do you have another idea?
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Great post Leslie! I used to struggle w/the same thing. What a difference attitude makes in all we do. A wise older woman once told me that there will be much I do at home that will go unnoticed and may seem unappreciated, but God knows my heart and sees all I do. I always think of this when I am scrubbing toilets or doing the jobs that aren’t very fun. I really love being at home now and making our house a home and a shelter from the storms of this world.Your children are blessed to have a mother like you!Oh BTW, I am loving the Hughes book. I have read almost the whole book now, but I want to go back and reread some parts and let things sink in more.
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Leslie, this post hits home for me, since I work at a church (music and arts ministry) and have to constantly find a balance. What is my job, what is my offering? My family will always come first, even if that means certain parts of my job get the back burner, but I am often worn out. We have yet to be able to keep me home full-time (though my kids are always with me, that’s the good part about church work) but I hope to see that in the future.You are doing the right thing letting this season of your life be for your family! I would smack that choir director, being one myself, if I ever met him!! Your voice will be sweeter for following God’s will for your time and energy.
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Sometimes, I wouldn’t mind smacking that choir director myself…Did I blog that out loud?
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Amen! Amen! Amen! I should print this out and tape it somewhere to read when the guilt feeling for not being more involved in church comes on. My husband and I have gone through some pretty big struggles in this area. There was a constant pull between family life and church, and our family was losing. It took me nearly having a nervous breakdown to really force us to drop most of the church work and focus on our family. Some folks were pretty mad :(The constant pressure put on families by churches is *wrong*. Raising our children to know God is absolutely the most important ministry a parent will ever do!
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Very sweetly put. Im with you sister.Mrs. Meg Logan
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