You know, teaching your children the “rules of the road” can never start too early. Our holiday travels provided several “field trip” lessons. The first lesson of the weekend occurred moments after leaving our driveway when we came upon a busy intersection. We were not moving despite the green light. This lack of forward motion caused an outburst from the rear of the van. Our most impatient child, Noah, shouted, “The wite is dreen! Why aren’t we moving?!”

Rule #285: The presence of an officer directing the traffic supercedes the green light. Obey your friendly neighborhood cop.

Apparently, a bad accident occurred moments prior to our arrival at the intersection and they were trying to control the traffic flow in the affected lanes. We sat for quite a while. Which brought us to another important rule:

Rule #582 (closely related to 285): Even when the cars AROUND you are moving, if the car directly in front of yours is not moving, then you may NOT move forward.

Rule #582 especially upset Noah.

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As I was belting out “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” for the 8,000th time, my peripheral vision noticed some quick movements just ahead on the road. I raised my head just in time to lock eyes with the sweetest little bunny. I was cheering, “Hurry! Hurry!” Alas, he did not make it across without…well, you know. We all heard the thumps under the van and Benjamin asked, “Daddy what did you hit? Was it a snake?”

Unfortunately, Karl just couldn’t contain his evil sarcasm: “Thumper got thumped.”

Rule #23: Never swerve your vehicle in order to avoid hitting cute, furry animals.

We did have a car right on our tail so there may have been a disaster had Karl tried to avoid the bunny…at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself.

Noah, who takes after his father in so many ways, began to sing,
“That wasn’t funny.
You killed the little bunny.”

In Alabama, there is a flip side to this rule. #32: ALWAYS swerve to ensure the vehicular slaughter of snakes, coons, armadillos, and opossum (at the very least, give it some gas).

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And finally, a rule about veering a bit off the paved road after it has been raining all day: DON’T DO IT.

As we were sitting in the van while Karl, Uncle David, and Alan tried to push (then pull) our loaded van out of the mud, the kids were discussing worst case scenarios. For some reason, they envisioned several leagues of mud beneath us into which we would surely sink and die. Kind of like Titanic.

I am thankful we had a very safe trip…well, except for one little critter.