Chapter 4: Being a Great Mom
I could really relate to Ginger Plowman’s introduction to this chapter about being a great mom. I mean, what mom hasn’t walked into a room and then wondered what she was there for? What mom hasn’t dialed someone’s number only to freak out while it’s ringing, wondering, “Who did I just call?” I know I’ve surprised myself more than once when the person I called answered and I realized who it was. Then, I had to make small talk until I remembered my reason for calling. And I know I’m not the only one who, when asked if she had a good day, spends several seconds trying to recall the last five minutes.
“How was your day, Leslie?”
“Um. I’m not sure. I’m not crying, so it must be pretty good.”
She writes of one more question that I know I’ve asked God. “Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing? I mean, don’t you have something really important for me that requires a little more skill than tying shoes and cutting the crust off sandwiches?”
She writes later, “God does have an important job for me and it does require much skill. It is my calling, my priority, my struggle, and my goal. I will rise to the occasion and accept the task at hand. I will love, nurture and train my children the way that God has called me to do.” She never gives the impression that she has arrived. Even though she’s writing the book, she still considers nurturing her children in the Lord a struggle and a goal.
This chapter has a lot to say about communication. Plowman details two things great moms do with their children: they point their children to Christ and they ask good questions.
Great moms point their children to Christ
She writes that we need to be talking about Jesus in our homes. Not just during times of instruction, either. It is our responsibilities as moms to keep Jesus out front in our homes. This is not easy, but in my house, as much as we sin, his name gets thrown around a lot. I mean that in a good way! Here’s an example of something that happened in my house yesterday. I told Benjamin “no” regarding something he wanted to do. He didn’t like that, so his response was to look at me with his angry eyes and curled lips. So, we had a little question-answer time about his disrespectful attitude. Then, I had to bring up Jesus because He is the only one who can really help Benjamin. One thing that my children have to be reminded of is that I am not against them when they do something they shouldn’t. I am trying to get them to understand that I am their biggest cheerleader, their helper, but, naturally, they don’t always see discipline that way. Plowman says,
“Our children need to know that we are on their side. We are not here to
rob them of joy, but to point them to the giver of joy. Be cheerful
and kind to your children in all situations, whether at play or during times of
training and instruction. We are here to encourage them in wisdom and to
lead them to freedom in Christ…It’s not about climbing on a religious soapbox
when our children have done wrong. It’s about teaching them that all of
life, the choices we make, the paths we take, are all about relationship with
Christ. Everything is a spiritual issue. Our main purpose in life is
to glorify God in everything. Therefore, all that we do is either
glorifying him 0r not. This is the mindset we want to instill.”
Great moms ask great questions
Plowman says it’s important to draw our kids out, find out what they like and dislike, find out what makes them really happy, find out what warms their hearts. Then, use that information to express love to them in special ways, in ways that they are sure to notice.
“These sorts of questions, along with everyday discussions about the goodness and mercies of God in all things, will weave a greater understanding of the gospel into the hearts of our children. An effort to instill gospel truths, a commitment to prayerful intervention, and an availability to communicate lovingly and patiently are the makings of a great mom.”
We like to ask questions around the dinner table. All of our kids enjoy talking about the day. What was your favorite part of today? What happened today that made you sad? What happened that made you happy? Not too long ago, GirlTalk did a series of posts about mealtime. They shared what their families talk about during dinner. One of the questions that stood out to me was, what did God do today? (I’m sure those aren’t the exact words, but it was something to that effect). It’s important to talk about ways we see God active in our lives everyday. This is something I’d like to hear my family talk about more during our meals together. Most evenings I’m playing the role of “manners police.”
I’d love to hear from other moms on this topic. How do you point your children to Christ? What are the ways you draw out the hearts of your kids? What about teenagers?
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Leslie Wiggins 
6 responses to “H @ H”
I think that great questions come form great input. I try to fill my kids up with the Word. Scripture memory, music with real texts (like Sovereign Grace) and kids music that is biblical, reading the Bible together and explaining it as you go… these all can launch the very questions that you want to be discussing.
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I laughed at your response to “how was your day.” That is exactly how I usually respond. The beginning of your post made me think about the many times I go to put the milk in the cupboard w/out thinking, so distracted.Recently I’ve been reading aloud “Wisdom and the Millers: Proverbs for Children” and it has brought some good discussions. We also try to pray throughout the day about the big and little things that come up, not just at meals and bedtime. I love music from sovereign music, (like Alicia mentioned) too.Praying together when we sin against each other is always good too.You’ll have to share things that you have done as well. 🙂
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We are really trying to keep Christ in the forefront of our home. We do bible studies and we worship together every day. I love to INFUSE our lives with Scripture, it’s one sure fire way to live “Corum Deo”.(I was not raised that way, and I can really see it as a blessing in our lives….) Like Wendy, I like to read stories to the kids that are scriptural and interesting,and that we can apply to our lives. We have read all of the “Millers” books, and loved them. Still, there is so much left to do,and so many times that we fail! PS- Sometimes other people ask me what I am doing as a “SAHM”. They think that I am wasting my time and my mind! How wrong they are! What could be MORE of a challenge than raising our kids in the Lord? Janet (anonymous) 🙂
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So good! I really liked this chapter – though very convicting and challenging for me!! One of my favorite/encouraging parts was at the bottom of pg 42 and in the middle of pg 43 : ) I need to be reminded that even though I get NOTHING done, I’m doing what the Lord has called me to, and it’s a PRIVILEGE, an HONOR, and a GIFT from the Lord!!!! Thank you, Jesus!!! And I was thankful for reminder not to scold when true feelings are shared, but to ask open ended questions!!! I can SEE my tendency to want to just correct and “fix” wrong thinking! The other night my 3 1/2 yr old was talking about something, and said “I don’t want Jesus”. I had to BITE my tongue (literally), so that Daddy could address him in Daddy’s gracious and WISE way!!! Daddy asked him “why don’t you want Jesus?” and my 3 1/2 yr replied “I DO want Jesus!!” ; ) Whereas my response probably would have pushed him away : ( Jason’s response drew him in!!! Ahhh…praise the Lord for our wise husbands!!!!
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Okay. That does it. I’m getting this book. OMgoodness, Wendy! I just read your comment and I was reminded of the other morning when I stood staring into my pantry, wondering why there wasn’t room for the milk! One way I have tried to draw my kids toward Christ, especially as they have gotten older, is to expose them to really SOLID teaching. They will sit with me and listen (or watch) John Piper and John MacArthur on oneplace.com and lightsource.com. I read John MacArthur or sometimes R.C.Sproul to them. We listen to the podcasts of the Dallas Seminary chapel services. Not sure how much of it they get, but they get way more than if they didn’t hear it at all! It has sparked some wonderfully deep discussions. Another thing I have done, especially with my teenager (daughter) is be transparent. (I’m sure that’s why most of that word is “parent!”) She needs to see that I’m real, and my walk with the Lord is real. I sin. I repent. I grow. We talk about it a LOT. It’s not really easy for me, but I’m seeing fruit from that approach.This is a GREAT series, Leslie. I am LOVING it. Have a blessed weekend!
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I am soooo looking forward to reading this book! This post provokes such accountability in the area that we should all be focused on the most every single day. Point to Christ! When mine where little and my patience was thin more than not, I resolved to go to my knees in the literal sense before acting on their behalf through discipline. The physical act of dropping to my knees gave me just enough time to *truly* pray and not just mutter under my breath as I stormed their direction, “LORD HELP ME”. I think I probably counted that plea as prayer more often than I should.When I am running on 100% *and* all ten digits, I do try to assure my kids that it is “us” against “sin” and not “me” against “them”. As you and others have said, “being transparent” and sharing the sin struggles that I have are ways that I hope point to the truth that I am a hopeless sinner and I must completely depend on God.
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