I realized that I really didn’t share anything from Plowman’s book yesterday. She has some important things to say to wives in this chapter. I found it rather humorous that Plowman subdivides chapter 5 this way:
Loving the Unlovable (the Christian husband)
Loving the Unlovable (the non-Christian husband)

When writing to the wife of the Christian husband, she explains what I try to do in applying the gospel to my relationships with other Christians.

“The man I married is justified and accepted by God, so who am I to withhold justification and acceptance? Am I greater than God? Certainly not. I am forgiven, accepted, and transformed, therefore, I will see my husband as forgiven, accepted, and transformed to perfection in Christ…True biblical unity can only be achieved by the following:

• Acknowledging our own sinfulness
• Acknowledging that forgiveness and transformation come through Christ alone.
• Seeing others as being forgiven and accepted by God regardless of their behavior.
• Seeing others as being perfected in Christ regardless of their behavior.”

The above are impossible to do without the help of the Holy Spirit. I’d like to try and share how I try to work it all out in my mind and heart. I must remember that whatever wrong done to me is more offensive to God, who is holy. I am not holy. If I’m offended, then it only shows my own pride, sensitivity, and self-centeredness. God has the ultimate right to be offended by anyone’s behavior. Since God alone is the only one who can be rightly offended by sin, He is the only one who can rightly exact judgment and payment for the offense. If the person who has offended me (say, my husband) is a believer, then that sin has been paid for–before the foundation of the world. God knew that sin, He knew my hurt, He sent His Son to take the punishment for it. Who am I to make Karl pay me for his offense? It is also my duty as one forgiven and justified through Christ to extend the same forgiveness–whether it is asked for or not. It has been my experience that this is the only way to have a happy marriage.

What if the offense comes from an unbeliever? Well, if that person NEVER repents and places his trust in Christ, then that one will pay for his/her sin for eternity. Ultimately, because it was a sin before a holy God, not because I took offense. So, again, who am I to seek for retribution?

For me, it boils down to a matter of faith in God to make all things right in the end, either through Christ or through eternal punishment. This is all very sobering to consider. “For we know him who said, ‘Vengeance is mine; I will repay.’ And again, ‘The Lord will judge his people.’ It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:30-31).

The gospel makes the most difficult commands, such as “forgive as you have been forgiven” and “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” possible. Indeed, “all things are possible with God” (Matthew 19:26)….especially a blissful marriage.