I have had this blog for over a year. It is a rare thing when someone I know in real life reads it (not counting family). Several months ago, I informed a few people of my blog and asked them to read it. I think I said something about it being a good thing for people who “know” me to read it so that they could provide some accountability. If you’re a blogger, then you know it’s so easy to be phony on a blog. Well, that day of accountability finally came yesterday.

If you are a daily reader, then you will recall that yesterday I wrote a quick post to complain about our situation. I wrongly assumed that the principle players would never read it, posted it against my better judgment, and spent the rest of the day justifying it to myself. Despite my conscience killing me, I left it up all day.

I implied some things about the men in the group that are not true. I ought to hold to my original assessment of who they are rather than disparage them because of one decision made. I certainly would not want someone to assess me based on a single decision. My comments in the previous post were ungracious and lacked love. It was wrong of me not to assume the best of them. They really are exceptional, godly men, trying to make the best decisions for their families. I know this is true, it just felt better to write something else. On top of that, when I consider their kindness to me, I only feel exceedingly worse for yesterday’s post.

Hmm, that last paragraph sounds too nice. Calling a spade a spade: lying, gossip, slander, and pride. And that was just what made its way onto the blog. I am a sinner. [Why do I still wince when I admit that?]

Since that post went public yesterday, much to my dismay and shame, I felt I needed to apologize here, too. I am sorry. Believe me, I’d rather not mention it. I’d feel safer just emailing everyone or sending a mushy card, but I don’t have email addresses!! And I suppose God wouldn’t want me to get off so easily, what with all my talk of wanting to glorify Him with this blog. I completely missed the mark yesterday.

I am thankful for a friend who would rather cause me pain by pointing out my sin than see me wander farther from the image of Christ.