I want to thank those of you who participated in my little poll. I’m going to share my answers and a little bit about why I answered the way I did.
Do you consider yourself a strong-willed woman?
Yes = 45 (83%)
No = 9 (16%)
Total=54
I answered this one with a ‘yes.’
It would be easier to answer if I had a good definition for “strong-will,” but Tobias did not give a succinct definition in her book. I should have included this in my review, but in reading her book about redefining the strong-willed women, I thought she was trying to redefine words like “assertive” and “leader” to mean strong-willed. I agree that many strong-willed women are assertive and are leaders, but many times they are aggressive and exhibit a Type A pushiness. Instead of discussing how to exhibit those better qualities, she lumped them under the heading of strong-willed.
Is a strong will a positive or negative characteristic?
Positive = 28 (58%)
Negative = 20 (41%)
Total = 48
I answered ‘negative.’
One of the responsibilities of an author is convincing the reader to buy in to what he or she is writing. Tobias had the burden of convincing me that having a strong-will is a good quality, that my strong-will is something I need to utilize rather than try to tame. Tobias did not convince me. After finishing the book, I still believe my strong-will is something that needs die.
Do you believe a woman has to give up her strong will to follow Christ?
Yes = 22 (43%)
No = 29 (56%)
Total = 51
I answered this with ‘yes.’
However you want to try to spin it, being strong-willed is analogous to defiant, obstinate, stubborn, difficult to work with. Why fight God until He finds a way to break you and bend you to His will? Of all men worthy of your cooperation and obedience, Jesus is.
Does your strong will hinder or enhance your walk with Christ?
Hinders a lot = 7 (14%)
Hinders somewhat = 22 (44%)
Enhances = 15 (30%)
Enhances a lot = 5 (10%)
Total = 49
I think I answered ‘hinders somewhat.’ I can only answer this one according to my own experience. Having a strong will has not helped me in my walk with Christ or in any other relationship in my life.
Strong-willed women have a more difficult time fitting in with other women in the church.
Agree = 32 (68%)
Disagree = 15 (31%)
Total = 47
I answered ‘agree.’
Y’all may think this is way off, but here’s why I answered yes. I think strong-willed women tend to relate better to men and feel like they have more in common with men. SWW don’t usually enjoy cultivating the traditional feminine arts of sewing, shopping, decorating, crafting, and testing recipes. I think SWW would rather be out front than serving in the background. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing all the time, but it’s another difference that sometimes hinders relationships between women.
Tobias tries to address this by encouraging SWW to find those women who are less strong-willed who can help them achieve a certain goal. The problem is that using others for your own ends does not always help build friendships or facilitate fitting in.
Your thoughts?
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Leslie Wiggins 
9 responses to “Evaluating Our Poll Results”
I appreciated your review of Tobias’ book. I agree that by her not giving a clear cut definition for “strong will” is problematic. I should have written down all of my answers because thinking through your review and chewing on things causes me to rethink my answers. I don’t know if I can remember how I answered each one.I will say now that I do have a strong will. I know that before I was saved, my strong will was a hindrance and negative trait used only for my own idolatrous pursuits. As a Christian, I still have to be intentional about submitting my strong will to Christ and His glory. Led by His Spirit, I can testify to my strong will being that of perseverance and quicker repentance because I’m grieved more deeply by sin.And I do agree with your last statement as well. I have often thought that my strong will was/is an obstacle in relationships with women. Along the lines of what you mention, id with male leadership and not with domestic arts (of which I greatly lack). However, again, the mercy of sanctification is seeing that my strong will to see women embrace Christ has led me into Biblical teaching and leadership roles in women’s ministry. For this, God alone receives the praise!
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We do need women to be leaders, but I don’t think to be a leader one has to also have a strong will. Assertive? Yes. Goal-oriented? Yes. Visionary? Yes. Those qualities, while many strong-willed individuals have them, aren’t specific to strong-willed individuals. I can think of several women who are not strong-willed (perhaps they were at one time, but God has worked to sanctify their personalities), but are those other things.
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I had a really hard time knowing if I should answer strong-willed or not. I can be very strong willed in some ways, but I wouldn’t consider myself so in other ways. I ended up answering yes, but I would have liked a better definition.
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Maybe we could work on a definition together.
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You made some interesting observations. I would be considered a SWW. I can relate a bit to your comment about interests. I in many ways prefer a conversation about theology over more domestic topics. But I also have learned to be more creative and grow in my love of cooking. Not becasue it has always been natiral for me but very needed and well, I will be doing it for the rest of my life…I better learn to like it. Now, I really enjoy cooking. I do wish at times more women were interested in doctrine and study. I also know that not fitting in with other ladies is really my issue. When I am with women who would rather talk about card making (which I love to do )then Spurgeon…so be it. I have my doctrine buddies and I get my fix when needed :o) This was a fun poll and review
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I totally agree, Mrs. M.
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This makes for an interesting discussion, and I appreciate your review. It seems that we have varying ideas about what defines a strong-willed woman. Since we’re to be like Jesus, would he rightly be defined as strong-willed? According to scripture, I don’t think so. He was strongly determined to do the Father’s will, not his own. We’re to will to do the Father’s will. We’re to be clothed in strength and dignity (Prov.31, something quite different than being strong-willed, which to me has a very self-motivated core. I’ll have to spend more time thinking about this!
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Your observation about hanging out with other women is interesting. I’ve never fit in. It’s always been more fun to hang out with the boys.Ironically, I love cooking, sewing and crafty stuff. But I despise the insipid conversations that come with hanging out with other women who like crafty stuff. (Often the conversations turn gossipy and trivial. Blech.) Hence, I am often found crafting alone.
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Thanks for commenting, Anita. I probably ought to flesh out my thoughts about relationships among women. Several comments mention that my observations are interesting. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. Like you, I have started enjoying more crafty things, but I don’t enjoy a lot of the conversations women have during the crafty get-togethers.
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