For those of you participating in our little reading group, today we are discussing Chapter 12 of The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. I think this chapter serves as a springboard for the third section of this book, which is devoted to submission. In the chapters to come, Peace is going to address all of our questions that begin with, What about? What if? and How can I?
Summary
This idea of submission originated with God so that people could live peaceably and protected. Chapter 12 focuses on God’s purpose for married women in submitting to their husbands’ authority. The key verses used in this chapter are Ephesians 5:15-22:
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Peace writes that there are “three main God-given basic responsibilities” of a wife toward her husband. They are
- to love him
- to respect him
- to submit to him
regardless of her husband’s behavior. “The submission of a godly wife is more than a duty, it should be her heart’s delight.”
Peace offers four biblical principles concerning a wife’s submission and joy:
- Joy results from trusting and obeying God’s Word.
- Joy results from knowing that God is working to accomplish His purpose even in difficult circumstances.
- Joy results from following the example of the Lord Jesus in difficult times.
- Joy results from a Spirit-filled life.
My Thoughts
In almost every Bible that is published these days, the commands for husbands and wives in Ephesians 5 are set apart as though Paul changed the subject.
Take some time to read all of the letter to the Ephesians. Consider Ephesians 5:22 in light of everything that comes before it. You don’t have to do it right now; find some time to do it this weekend.
Not only does obedience to God’s commands always bring joy to us, like Peace says, it demonstrates the power and mystery of the gospel to a watching world, even to “rulers and authorities in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 3:10).
This letter also teaches us to live lives worthy of our callings in the gospel. Submission to our husbands is important for the sake of the gospel. It’s not about making my husband happy. It’s not about becoming a doormat. It is not my punishment. Submission is about following Jesus, becoming like Him.
One thing that helps me submit in my home (where I am tempted to think that no one is watching) is that I remember that I have four children who daily need to see me living out the gospel. They need to see how the gospel is important in the every day life of the believer. I want them to see me obey with joy. I want to make the gospel appealing to them.
My children aren’t the only people I keep in mind. I pray that through joyfully submitting to my husband, even he may be inspired to submit to God in everything.
But I don’t put my hope in my own efforts. My hope is in God to be my help and my strength.
What do you think? Read what these ladies have to say:
- Adzele at Journey with God
- Shawnda at Spirit of Adoption
- Cyndi at One Day More
- Amy at Another Day in Paradise
Keep reading! Click for Chapter 13.
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Leslie Wiggins 
9 responses to “Submission: A Wife’s Joy”
It is funny! in my Wednesday night children class this week at church, we were talking about how Jesus went around doing good and how we are to do good no matter where we are, even when we think no one is watching because Jesus is watching and he knows our heart. Yes, we need to give good example to our children and obey God with a joyful heart.On another note, Praise God for his healing hand on your son this week. I am glad that his recovery went well. Sometime I think they are just stronger than us.
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I think you said it well! Living out the gospel in joyful submission!
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good, good, Leslie! I need to remember that my kiddos are watching and that submitting to my husband IS showing them the Gospel!!! Thanks, sister!!!
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After we studied this chapter in our moms’ bible study, we had a woman who never came back for the remainder of the study. I think the principle of submission really offended her.
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Ephesians 5 starts out by saying “be imitators of Christ.” Paul was speaking of humility, among other things. So the commands to husbands and wives stem from that concept: Be humble as Christ was humble. Be a servant as Christ was a servant. That goes for both spouses. Paul’s command for husbands to love their wives “even as Christ loved the church” includes serving.When husbands have that servant spirit of Christ, it is much easier for a wife to submit.(Am I allowed to comment on these topics?)
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John, absolutely. You said,When husbands have that servant spirit of Christ, it is much easier for a wife to submit. Would you care to elaborate? I have heard this many times, and probably have said it myself a time or two, but my question now is, Why? Should we rather look to the example of Christ Himself and find is easier to submit, regardless of our circumstances? I think this is the point Peace makes in her fourth principle, and I am hoping she gives further detail and support in later chapters dealing with submission.I have ideas from what others have written, but I really do not know how this, the husband serving and loving his wife as Christ serves and loves the church, works itself out in marriage. Even my husband, brilliant as he is, when we have discussed this, has asked me what it really means. What are the deeper, spiritual applications of this teaching? Surely it means so much more than the physical working and providing and protecting, though those are imperative to his role.How do you apply Paul’s teaching and how have you seen your wife respond?
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Hi. Thank you. The biggest part of my life is being a father and husband, so these discussions are of interest to me, too. Why is it easier for a wife to submit when the husband has the spirit of Christ? What you’re saying is right. Christ Himself should be the motivation for my wife to submit, just as He should be my motivation for loving and serving her. I am to do this unconditionally even if she shows me nothing but disrespect. Like you said, “regardless of circumstances.”But being a fallen, sinful, selfish creature, I’m not always perfectly motivated by Christ’s example or word. When my wife shows concern or respect for me it does make me want to serve her that much more. And when I am trying to do so, according to her, she is much happier to submit. Not that she wouldn’t anyway, but she is able to be more joyful in submitting and serving.I realize that’s not always the case. There are husbands and wives that won’t follow the biblical pattern regardless of how hard their spouses try.Next, how does the husband loving his wife “as Christ loved the church” work itself out practically? I wrote on that for a men’s fellowship message a few years back. It is on my blog here:http://whilewesojourn.blogspot.com/2008/04/husbands-love-your-wives.htmlThe article is based on Eph. 5:25. I would love to get some feedback if you have time to read it.How do I apply Paul’s teaching? I try to apply it in the way that I describe in the article. Christ always served His Father and others, never showing any concern for himself. I want to always put my wife and children’s needs before my own.How does my wife respond? Very well. But then maybe that’s because she is already humble and submissive.
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really good thoughts. thanks for sharing this!
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OK – I thought I was behind but I guess I wasn’t, I just forgot which chapter we were on!! :)My 2 favorite parts of this chapter were:”God’s commands become a joy to you when you RESOLVE to humbly submit to Him in advance of the actual opportunity.”I think she’s reminding us that Paul has not said it will be “easy”, that it isn’t second-nature to wilfully submit. We must first submit to the Lord if we are ever to expect ourselves to submit to anyone else.My 2nd favorite part was the small paragraph on the last page, discussing gratefulness. IF you are “spirit-filled” THEN…it’s a good reminder for me!
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