How long were your labors?
Kid #1, 8 hours.
Kid #2, 4ish hours
Kid #3, 4 or 5 hours — this experience was a blur; I can’t really recall. I remember Leno came on just as things were getting tough and Noah was born before it was over.
Kid #4, 6ish hours.
How did you know you were in labor?
Kid #1, regular contractions
Kid #2, regular contractions (woke me from sleep)
Kid #3, strange feelings while I was cooking dinner. I wasn’t having contractions, but I could tell something was happening. Karl took me to the hospital, but my doctors’ policy is that they don’t allow anyone who’s dilated 5 cm to go home. So even though I was dilated halfway, I wasn’t in “active labor.” We sealed the deal with a pitocin drip.
Kid #4, regular contractions
Where did you deliver?
With all of them, at a hospital.
Kid #1, none
Kid #2, none
Kid #3, I attempted an epidural this time because I had read horrible stories involving pain and pitocin (plus the pain from Kid #2 was still a fresh memory). It just wasn’t meant to be — the tiny tube came out of my back. The nurse remarked, “Oh, no wonder you felt everything! The tube came out! The medicine is all over your back.” So, NONE!
Kid #4, none
Doctors. Real MDs. Kid #2 was almost delivered by the nurse, though.
Read more laborious memes at Rocks In My Dryer.