I am reading Peacemaking Women by Tara Klena Barthel and Judy Dabler. So far, so good. Right now I’d say that EVERY woman should read this book. The authors are honest–about the subject, their own struggles, and female relationships. They put no confidence in the flesh, only in the grace and mercy of God.

I, for one, have been in the middle of conflicting women. I have been a woman who caused conflict. I have also been a woman on one side of a conflict. I have NEVER been the go-to woman for resolving conflict, and I say this to my shame. I have, however, been the woman who, once she realized her sin, confessed to the offended party and asked forgiveness. I am thankful for the two very memorable and effective opportunities/lessons God provided for me in the areas of gossip and conflict among women. But I am getting ahead of myself.

The first chapter of the book (which I read today) deals with a woman’s conflicts with God. In this chapter, I learned that I cannot have peace with anyone, not even in myself, without first having peace with God. He is the Alpha and the Omega of all things. He alone brings perfect and lasting peace.

Many books spend chapter after chapter building up to the main thrust of the book. Peacemaking Women does not waste any time. The authors hit the ground running in chapter one with one major struggle we women face in our relationships with God. It is one that I have fought. They word it this way: “She ‘felt’ God’s love and approval when she lived up to her self-imposed standard of ‘goodness,’ and she ‘felt’ God’s rejection when she failed to measure up” (p.29-30). I don’t know about you, but that summarizes what my relationship with God was like for a long time. God worked several things together to change this for me.

First, I met a family unlike any I’ve ever met. The mother of this family talked non-stop about the grace of God. Everything depended on His grace! Even though I had been active in church for seven or eight years, I had never heard such talk with so much emphasis on grace.

Second, because of this mother’s influence and God placing a hunger for His word in me, I started learning how to study and read my Bible. I realized that there was so much more for me in God’s word that I was not getting from two services on Sunday alone.

Thirdly, I began to read Christian non-fiction. The most influential author for me to date (and I have read a lot of books) has to be John Piper. His writing helped everything “click” for me. So much of what I had read depended on “how to” and “suck it up and do it” kind of thinking. Not so with Piper. He has helped me to put it all together and cast myself on God’s grace.

Fourth, as a product of America’s public schools, I knew absolutely nothing of the Reformation. Seeking an understanding of Calvinism and the Doctrine of Grace has greatly influenced my relationship with God.

All that is to say that NOW I understand grace. It’s not all up to me. For so long I had projected my feelings of myself, which were based on my own standards, upon God. “If I feel so rotten about me, then He must.” So, I would avoid our relationship until I felt better about myself. “Things are going well and I feel good about me because I…therefore, God must like me, too.”

God loves me because He loves me. He has chosen me. I have been picked out to be adopted as His child. Nothing I did made Him choose me and nothing I can do will ever change that! That is one aspect of who He is that makes me so joyful. He loves me, not because I’m great, but because He is great!

I have found a peace and rest in His grace that I had never known before I met that particular family, before I began to really read what the Bible says, before I began to understand reformed theology, and before God opened my eyes to grace.

Even though I’ve only read one chapter, I unreservedly recommend this book.