Everyday has its moments of anger and strife among the kiddos. Usually an argument erupts over a toy or hurtful words. More often than not, the offended child will come to me to try and make things right. I have talked with the older kids about trying to work out their disputes before coming to me, but they are hardly satisfied with my instructions for doing this. Conflict resolution is not my strongsuit. We can do the “say you’re sorry” bit, but the full reconciliation and restoration of the relationship is the hard part. And I still manage to be the one to do all the work. Our kids have yet to resolve a conflict without parental guidance.

I was reading around some of my favorite blogs this evening and came across an old post on SpunkyHomeschool that really gives some good advice in this area.

According to Mathew 18 “When your brother offends you you must go to him.”
That means not running to mommy or daddy first to try and get them on your side. To allow them to come to me first would be encouraging gossip and force me into dissecting the bits and pieces of the conflict. I didn’t have the time or energy for the task and it was a habit I didn’t want to create in the children.

I thought that was really interesting. As much as I think about everything we say and do in our home, I had never thought of this. I am learning so much more from blogs written by real mothers than I ever learned from parenting magazine or even focus on the family stuff, not to mention my degree in family studies.

Anyway, this post really made me think about the way I handle conflicts between the kids. I know all those scriptures about conflict resolution between Christians, but I had not thought about using it NOW while they’re still little. I am ashamed of myself. When it comes to conflicts, I have just thought of them as kids and not as future adults. I need to be equipping them with tools they will need to resolve conflicts as adults. Lord knows we need adults who know how to employ the biblical method of conflict resolution. I guess it’s the language of humility that is the hardest part.

This post has some excellent advice. SpunkyHomeschool even shares exactly what she encourages her children to do and WHY she has them do it. I am already mentally scheming planning tomorrow night’s dinner discussion about how we are going to force out kids to do this from now on implement this in our family.