Nothing, and I do mean nothing, happened as planned


I’m not quite sure how to begin. Do I compose an intriguing introduction so that you will continue reading? Do I offer a few verses which demonstrate the Sovereignty of God? Or shall I commence inundating you with random statements to half-heartedly describe this land of futility in which I live?

Can you tell I just finished watching a movie set in the 16th century? Did any of that make a shred of sense?

I can tell that, in addition to my week not going as I planned, this post will not go as planned. Just as I can laugh about my week now that it’s over, I hope you will be able to laugh at me at the end of this post. Perhaps you’re laughing now. I’m going to step away from the computer for a few moments to pull my head out of the clouds. Excuse me.

SO, my husband, who has not been feeling well for the last month and a half, is officially tired of being sick. He’s just sick of being sick. Some of you know exactly what I’m talking about. Being sick for so long has done a bit of a number on his emotional health. He’s been just a touch depressed. Well, he had to go out of town for his company this week. He was only gone for two days, however, he was not able to return when he originally planned, and, therefore, we had to miss his department Christmas party. I had bought some great gifts for Dirty Santa, too. We were really looking forward to it. So, missing that was just another reason to feel bummed out.

I had secured a babysitter for the night, though. It was too short notice to cancel on her, so I decided that I would try to get some Christmas shopping done. I psyched myself up for shopping, put on a little lipstick (it helps!), and didn’t return for a very long time. An hour and a half of shopping solo is a very long time in my book.

I decided that the kids and I would do something wild, crazy, and completely unplanned: deck the halls before Dad came home. The only problem is that I could not move the giant box housing our artificial tree even an inch. SO…crazy, unplanned hall-decking gets a little crazier. I decided we would just buy a real tree. That way, Daddy is sure to be even MORE surprised when he gets home.

You know what’s amazing? Real trees are not as heavy as artificial trees. True story: the kids and I picked out a gorgeous 7-8 ft. Frasier Fir that I lifted with one hand. And because my plan was sooo spontaneous, I forgot the rope to tie it down on the hood of the van. So guess what I did? I shoved it into the van. I folded down one of the backseats, Hannah sat in front next to me, and I rammed that tree into my van between the middle seats. And since I live in Alabama, all that work made me perspire. Until last night, the temperature in these parts hovered in the high, and very muggy, 70s.

I am very please with myself for not forgetting to buy a tree stand.

The kids were declaring me the best mom ever. Noah shouted, more than once, “This is going to be the best Christmas ever!”

My only hope was that Karl would agree. I wasn’t quite sure how he would react. I mean, this is our tenth Christmas together and every single year I say, “When I was a kid we always had a real tree. Maybe we could get a real tree this year?” He doesn’t even have to think before responding with a big, fat, “No.”

I figured this year would be my big chance since, A) he’s been so sick and tired lately he didn’t even care about decorating the house for Christmas, and 2) he probably won’t want to do much cleaning up afterwards. All one has to do with a real tree is throw it in the lake, right? Easy clean up.

The children helped me decorate the tree. Then, I had to redistribute all of the ornaments. Then we decked the house. Well, I decked the house while the kids cheered me on:

“YOU’RE THE BEST MOM EVER!”
“THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT!”
“YOU’RE THE BEST MOM EVER!”
“DADDY WILL BE SO HAPPY!”
“DADDY WILL BE SO HAPPY!”
“YOU’RE THE BEST MOM EVER!”

I even bought Josh Groban’s Noel (which I swore to myself I wouldn’t) and played it non-stop all afternoon while we decorated and wrapped gifts.

Karl finally made it home around 11:30 that evening. He was dragging, but he was very surprised and happy. As usual, I just couldn’t keep from letting him open one of his gifts. All in all, I think we lifted his spirits.

Then, Thursday night was the big company party I told you about. I guess the karaoke experience was so bad last year, the party planners decided to hire a band this year. Good call. Since the ordinance passed which prohibits all smoking until 10 p.m. passed, we enjoyed a smoke-free evening with decent food, all the Dr. Pepper a girl could wish for, a great cover band, and Karl’s fun co-workers.

We were heading into hour 3 of the party and no one had moved to the dancing area. So, to loosen things up for the last 30 minutes, the CEO started dancing. He actually knew what he was doing, and a couple of brave souls joined him. It was definitely one of those ‘you just had to be there’ moments because I cannot convey the hilarity in words, nor will I post a video re-enactment for you. I will tell you he was wearing these red cords with wreaths:

And because we were enjoying the company at our table so much, we decided not to play in the darts tournament.

I was really counting on that for some good blog material, too.

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13 thoughts on “Nothing, and I do mean nothing, happened as planned

  1. Yes, you had me in stitches. I was trying not to laugh out loud way too late at night. I really hope Karl feels better soon. It rots to be sick, and it rots when your husband is sick. Hurray for your real tree, brave soul! You’re my hero.

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  2. I feel so bad for Karl. I am not really *sick* but the last month of pregnancy seems to be draggin’ by and the days where I “feel good” are less and less. It really does wear you out emotionally.I love that you guys got a real tree! I also grew up with a real one and I so I got us one a few years back, but I could never get the ornaments to hang as well and I bought it too soon, which meant it was nearly dead at day 4. Not good.I bought Noel on iTunes! I love it ;)That party! You had me at the red pants! Prayers for your hubby.

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  3. Hurray for real trees and fun Christmas parties. I am sorry your husband has been sick for so long. I too have been coveting that Josh Groban CD…was it worth the splurge? Do ya think? I hope your hubby feels better for Christmas, what a good wife you are to try so hard to cheer him up.

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  4. You crack me up…..we shoved our tree in our van this year too….not because we forgot a rope but out of shear laziness.Sorry Karl’s not feeling well. Glad the “real” tree went over well. My husband heads out of town Monday am for the week. Not my favorite timing but what can ya do.

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  5. What a fun read! What a wonderful memory for you and your kids! I am glad that you guys got out to one party. The pants~ classic! 🙂 We’ll be praying for Karl! 🙂

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  6. Oh, I forgot to mention that I LOVE the slideshow of past Christmas pictures… some w/ all smiling, some w/ one screaming, some w/ one getting up and getting away. Good times! 😉

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  7. Those pants are cracking me up! I’m so glad you were able to get a tree and Karl was happy about it. Hope he feels better soon.

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  8. No blog fodder, indeed! :-)And I do think you are the best mom ever–the tree in the van? A priceless memory, to be sure!

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  9. Way to go in getting the tree with the kids and setting stuff up on your own! I’m sorry your Karl is feeling lousy. Now about those red cords…fantastic for the CEO to put himself out there like that! 🙂

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