I must say, I am very embarrassed to admit what I’m about to admit on this illustrious international inter-tubular weblog. But I must.
Monday night, I baked some sweet potatoes, put together a fresh salad, green beans, and marinated some steaks for Karl to grill. Then I had an idea. Hey, the oven is already hot, I’ll go ahead and cook this oven roast while it’s still fresh, and we can eat it later in the week. I seared the roast, threw on some herbs and spices, covered it, and put it in the oven.
Then, I started feeling pretty proud of myself. Self, I said, You are doing something you’ve only read about on other homemakers’ blogs: you are cooking ahead. You are going to save precious minutes, minutes that you can spend blogging, or reading, or doing nothing, future minutes can be re-appropriated just because you are cooking this roast before you need it. You are in hot pursuit of that Proverbs 31 Lady.
I even went so far as to beg Hubs for a pat on the back. “Hey, isn’t this smart?”
And he, being the sweet fella he is, he said, “Yeah, baby.” He even gave me a kiss. But not on the lips, because I was sicker than he.
About an hour and a half later, after we’d all eaten and cleaned up, the kids were getting ready for bed, Karl walked through the kitchen and said, “Did you know you left the oven on?”
“Oh, no! Did I? Will you turn it off, please?”
He did. An hour or two later we went to bed.
I stumbled to the kitchen (sing it: pour myself a cuppa ambition) and started thinking through the day ahead of us. That’s when it hit me. THE ROAST!
Perhaps, by some miracle during the night, someone moved the roast to the refrigerator! I covered my eyes in an effort to shield myself from the inevitable cold, brown 3.5 pounds of shame awaiting me.
Why, why, WHY didn’t I remember the roast? Proverbs 31 Lady would have remembered her roast. Not only can she laugh at the days to come, she can laugh at me. She patted me on the head and grinned, Oh, you poor dear. Let’s have a look, shall we? Hm, well, there’s no hope for it now. Perhaps you’ve learned a lesson? Yes. Aside from learning that my internal Proverbs 31 Lady is English, I learned that she is not to be mocked.
Obviously, after an hour and a half, the slab of meat would have had some kind of aroma. However, because I had a stuffy nose, I couldn’t smell it cooking! I can’t blame Hubs. Why would he smell a roast when he had just filled up on steak?
All we could do was look from one another to the roast. Karl said, “Are you sure we can’t eat it?”
In light of that, Brian Regan talking about “Cook Fairies” made me laugh.