I am amazed at the amount of useless information I can remember while special memories are lost. For instance, I remember phone numbers no longer in use: my first phone number, my childhood best friend’s first phone number, and my aunt’s phone number from twenty-five years ago. I can’t recall those special events that my mothers assures me were so wonderful, but I can remember the very first times I heard the word sarcastic on the playground and the first time I read the word idiot in a book. So, I shouldn’t be surprised that I can’t recall how Karl and I celebrated our first anniversary, but I can recall every reason I hated 10th grade world history.

I’ll spare you my top ten, but I have to tell you about one incident to illustrate reason #1. The number 1 reason Leslie hated 10th grade world history: Mrs. X awarded cute boys points for making her laugh.

While I spent time studying and fought for my B, one of my best guy friends received bonus points on an essay to which he did not know the answer because he wrote out a really long joke that made Mrs. X laugh. So, you won’t be surprised by the following story.

Mrs. X was attempting to help the class review for our semester exam. She peppered the class with questions from our earliest lessons in world history.

What area is known as the cradle of civilization?

What are the two main rivers in Mesopotamia?

What is the name of the first great empire?

What are the five characteristics of a civilization?

What development helped man survive?

It was at this point, as teachers are wont to do, that Mrs. X tired of hearing all the right answers from the usual kids. She called on the snoozing baseball pitcher in the back of the room.

“Mark?”

“Mark!”

There were snickers all around the room as Mark jerked himself awake and said, “Yes, Ma’am!” (Now you have to read “Mark” with your best, most southern drawl. Think of the most country sounding accent you’ve ever heard, and then go further south).

“Rough night last night, Mark?”

“No, ma’am.” (Southern boys are very respectful).

“Can you tell us what development helped ensure man’s survival?” And without a single moment’s hesitation, Mark shouted,

“HIS THUMB!”

Yes, the only thing Mark could remember was that, unlike most animals, we have opposable thumbs. He figured that if it weren’t for our ability to pick up items and open bottles we would never survive.

While it was the wrong answer (and it still is, as far as I know), Mrs. X awarded Mark points for being funny and making her laugh.

Why am I telling you this?

You Are the Thumb

You’re unique and flexible. And you defy any category. Mentally strong and agile, you do things your own way. And you do them well. You are a natural leader… but also truly a loner. You inspire many but connect with few. You get along well with: The Middle Finger Stay away from: The Pinky

I took this quiz the other day. Instead of laughing at the state of online quizzes these days, my mind sent me back to the unfair days of 10th grade world history. I may be doomed to remember Mark and Mrs. X for the rest of my life. Do you think I could get some bonus points?