Martha Peace, in Chapter 19 of The Excellent Wife, writes,

Not being afraid is an element of trusting God, of being a godly person, and of being a godly wife. In fact, being fearless is included in the description of the Excellent Wife in Proverbs 31. ‘She is not afraid of the snow for her household…she smiles at the future’ (Proverbs 31:21-25).

Peter also exhorts wives not to fear as he admonishes them to ‘do waht is right without being frightenened by any fear’ (1 Peter 3:5,6). So in His Word, God does acknowledge that fear may be a problem for some wives. Fear is a miserable emotion, but wives are to respond to their fears in a biblical manner.

Biblical Principles Concerning Fear
1. Fear may keep us from fulfilling our God-given responsibilities.
2. Fear may motivate a person to commit other sins.
3. Fear may motivate a person to deny the Lord Jesus and His Word.
4. Fear may be of other men.

Nine solutions to Fear
1. Do not be a man-pleaser.
2. Remind yourself of God’s Word.
3. Make wise decisions.
4. Realize the power of God working within you.
5. Fear the Lord and delight in His commands.
6. Realize God is ever-present with you.
7. Trust God to keep His Word.
8. Seek after the Lord when you are afraid.
9. Overcome your fear with love.

Philippians 4:6-9 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me — practice these things, and the peace of God will be with you.”

From these verses, Peace draws out three instructions:
1. Pray a prayer of supplication and thanksgiving.
2. Replace unbiblical thoughts with biblical thoughts.
3. Perform practical acts appropriate for the specific situation.

My Thoughts
I’ve always thought it was interesting that Peter tells wives not to be frightened by anything that is fearful. He doesn’t say that there’s no reason to be frightened. He simply says don’t be afraid of whatever it is.

I had forgotten, but reading this chapter reminded me. When I was a teenager I had panic attacks. I can’t remember exactly what I was afraid of, but I do remember having them. I remember my very first one was in the shopping mall. I think I was afraid of making a decision. We were standing in a store, I was staring at all the clothes on the racks, and I couldn’t breathe. I remember I grabbed hold of the walls and begged my mother to get me out of there! I still hate shopping, but it doesn’t frighten me.

Another time: I was 15, we were on vacation, it was night, I had been driving for a couple of hours, and Mom was in the passenger side drinking alcohol. I think being 15, new to driving, coupled with the responsibility of getting us somewhere hours from home without the assistance of an adult freaked me out a little bit. The first thing I remember is my hands going numb. I pulled over and jumped out of the car, ran a few yards, and just screamed. After a few minutes of deep breathing, I got back in the car and finished the drive to the beach. I may have been overwhelmed and fearful, but I wasn’t stupid — letting Mom drive would have been a whole different kind of fear.

Something clicked for me that night. I had to grow up. From that time on, I learned to control my thoughts and overcome the panic attacks. This was before doctors handed out pills for everything. My mantras were “Mind over matter” and “Suck it up and overcome.”

That was before I learned how to use scripture and prayer.

On the four biblical principles concerning fear: I could recall an example from my life for each one.

On the nine solutions to fear: Several of the listed solutions I’ve worked on for several years, like not being a man-pleaser, reminding my self of God’s word, realizing that God is ever-present with me, and trusting God to keep His word. The ones I’m going to start working on are making wise decisions and overcoming fear with love. I’ve never considered how the act of loving God and others will drive out fear. Peace writes that demonstrating love to others and to God will drive out our fear because fear is selfish. When we focus on others, then our fear subsides.

I don’t know about you, but my imagination can run with a scenario until I’m feeling fearful over something that isn’t even happening. It’s ridiculous, I know, but it’s obviously something lots of women do. Peace dedicates a whole page to the theme of cultivating biblical thoughts. Peace also included helpful chart on taking our thoughts captive to the Truth.

Finally, don’t forget to pray! When we pray we are exercising faith. We are turning to the One who is greater than all our fears, to the one who can fill our hearts with peace.

What did you think after reading this chapter?

• Amy of Another Day in Paradise
• Jane of Much Ado About Books
• Shawnda of Spirit of Adoption

Just two more chapters to go!!

Keep reading! Click for Chapter 20.