I just don’t know what to write today. I teeter on the brink between being boring and sharing too much. The safe thing would be to share a great quote from one of the books I’m reading. The dangerous thing would be to dump all the issues I’m having with my mother. Though it is occupying my mind, I don’t want to think about what’s going on in Washington today. I certainly do not want to blog about it.
Supposedly, the president and the wanna-be presidents are discussing this in a “bipartisan” manner because this is an “American” problem. I’m not watching the news. I’m praying for them, praying for this country, about this mess.
I didn’t want to do this, but I have to.
Too much was made of the need to be “bipartisan” yesterday. Partisanship is a good thing. Republicans and Democrats have very different ideas about the way this country should be run. I welcome partisanship so that people can see how different the parties are, and, I hope, start voting for the people with the best ideas. (That would be conservatives, in case you were wondering).
Some people think that partisanship is what keeps Washington from working for the people. That’s absolutely right. And, for most of the time, the way I like it. The fewer bills that get passed, the better. The more arguing and debating, the better. When politicians start moving fast, without a lot of fighting, is when I worry. The result is never good news.
The other topic I want to avoid is how angry I am with my mother. I wish I had a great relationship with my mother. I really do. But it is impossible right now.
My mom called to invite us to attend church with her. Not only that, but that if we don’t show up, or if she calls us and we bail at the last minute, then she’ll cry. That’s what made me mad. She’s just trying to manipulate me.
What makes this situation so rich is that saying one thing and doing another at the last minute is my mother’s raison detre. It’s what she does. No one on this earth would fault me for doing to her the same thing she’s done to me for the last twenty years. No one. And the temptation is incredibly strong to do the very thing that I know will hurt her; to hurt her in the same way that she has hurt me over and over again for most of my life. For once, the shoe is on the other foot.
I know I won’t do it. I can’t be that mean. And it makes me mad at myself that I won’t do it. Not just because she’s my mother; it’s the “do unto others, love your neighbor as yourself” commands that get me. I am more than ready to inconvenience myself, or put myself in a position to be hurt by her again, if it means that my fellowship with Christ isn’t broken by more sin. I know he’ll take care of me. I just can’t find any leave from scripture that will allow that kind of behavior. I want it to be there, but it’s not.
OK. So I can’t treat her with spite like I want to. But can I refuse to do what she’s asking on the basis of biblical principle?
She is a member of a church with a woman filling the role of pastor. Mom just loves it because the sermons make her feel so good. And she “just fell in love with the puppets.”
I wish I were making this up.
She thinks my kids will really enjoy the puppet worship.
That’s how well she knows us.
The most loving thing to do would be to go to church with her and then explain why if she doesn’t get out of there fast she may be in danger of losing her soul. Which sounds kind of fun. Because bothering her with spiritual things is my raison detre.
I told you I have issues.