Poetry: Roald Dahl (again)


*As I was searching through my drafts pile, I found this old post from June 2011. That’s TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN. I have no idea why I didn’t post it. Here goes:

The kids and I are still reading a bit of Vile Verses every morning. They are a tad bit morbid.  We either laugh our heads off or say, “Ewww!” Know what I mean? But I like this one because after reading it my kids can say their teacher is “totally divine.” No ear wrenching here!

Mister Unsworth
(previously unpublished)

My teacher wasn’t half as nice as yours seems to be.
His name was Mister Unsworth and he taught us history,
And when you didn’t know a date he’d get you by the ear
And start to twist while there you sat quite paralysed with fear.
He’d twist and twist and twist your ear and twist it more and more,
Until at last the ear came off and landed on the floor.
Our class was full of one-eared boys, I’m certain there were eight,
Who’d had them twisted off because they didn’t know a date.
So let us now praise teachers who today are all so fine
And yours in particular is totally divine.

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